Secrets : Mental Desolation
by Dr.Dalek
Summary: Koschei should have known better than ticking off Theta… especially since he'd been acting so gloomily lately… Theta/Koschei fluff. Story contains slightly violent sex, M/M and suicidal thoughts.


_Author's Note:_  
 _Alright, I have to admit I tried something else for this part of the 'Secrets' stories.  
First of all it doesn't have a story which forms the framework; I just couldn't think of any that would fit._  
 _Also it's kind of less fluffy and a bit smutty and probably a bit more emotional._  
 _But I hope you'll enjoy it as much as you've enjoyed the previous ones._  
 _This work was inspired by 'Young God' by Halsey and is a gift for Scarletbat. Thanks for the support!  
_

* * *

Theta took a deep breath.  
The moist warmness was unexpectedly soothing.  
He felt the draught, the noises and the heaviness dying away – relinquishing his body, fleeing from him.

The sounds had faded away, were lost in his world of drowsy bliss.  
He enjoyed the peaceful silence of nothingness – the relaxing thoughtlessness on the very edge of existence.  
He opened one eye to watch the sparkling colours dancing across his vision, glowing on the ceiling, chasing each other across the tiled walls.  
He barely heard the beckoning music of tranquillity, barely felt the base drag tearing him down.  
Theta stared at the alleviating peacefulness in front of him.

As it engulfed him.  
As it buried him deeply inside of its velvety dormancy.  
As it drowned out the sounds of a door being pushed open.

As one heart stopped...

Theta coughed.  
He cried out as a hand struck his back, forcing him into coughing up more water.  
He felt the hands gripping his shoulders as his head was pulled upwards.  
He panted, squinting against the bright lights.

Koschei examined him closely before Theta escaped his grip, folding up on the wet bath towel.

"Well, what was that all about?"  
Theta ignored Koschei's icy remark while curling up into a tight ball and coughed and spat until his lungs stopped burning.  
He felt Koschei reaching for his temples in time to prevent him from laying a finger on the.  
"Don't..." he managed to mumble, cursing under his breath, "...touch me."

Koschei stroked Theta's back, who fought back against the pains of being alive, that he was numb to Koschei's touch.

Theta shuddered and twitched before gasping for air again.  
Eventually he managed to slap Koschei's fingers, which wouldn't stop tantalizing him, to keep them from pricking his aching skin.  
Koschei sighed while resting his back against the overflowed bathtub.

"You know that suicide is no option for a Time Lord, since it's not only extremely painful for you but an annoyance to the rest of us. Oh, and of course, you wouldn't succeed anyway. Not until you've been stupid enough to attempt it several times, mind you."  
Theta panted, his face buried in the towel.  
Koschei sighed again while trying to pull him upright.  
"If you don't want to talk about it that's fine by me, but then I'll have to use our mental bond in order to gain access to your thoughts," Koschei explained as Theta slashed at his hands once more.

Theta clawed at Koschei as he managed to drag him onto his friend's bed in the next room. Koschei groaned inwardly as he received an unnecessary painful kick in the crotch as it took hid time sitting down beside Theta, taking longer than he would have been comfortable with.  
And even though Koschei hadn't succeeded in establishing a mental bond with Theta, the words were so clear he almost felt them this time:  
Don't even think about it.

"Come on Theta," growled Koschei, visibly annoyed at his friend's unresponsiveness, "Stop playing games with me. I'm not in the mood right now."  
Theta barely turned his head as he shot Koschei a death glare.  
His dripping, wet hair left darkening dots on his bedclothes.

Theta paid no attention to the fierce glimmer in Koschei's golden eyes.  
Before he could have put up a fight Koschei was already on top of him, lashing out and struggling to keep his twitching hands over his head.  
Then, in one swift movement, he smashed his forehead against Theta's in order to gain entrance into his mind by force.

Theta winced; his strained muscles relaxed. He gave in to Koschei, no longer opposing him.  
Almost playful Koschei reached for his temples, stroking the throbbing skin as he tried to reach into his mind.  
"You can't keep me out," he snarled as he felt his own mind hitting an unexpected mental barrier.  
'And if I don't want you inside?' Koschei felt Theta's non-verbal response.  
He gritted his teeth before increasing the pressure his fingers put on Theta's temples, until the skin broke.  
Theta glared at Koschei through tearful eyes before slapping him across the cheek so hard the he toppled over.

"At least you're responding now," Koschei replied and spat blood.  
"You're the worst friend anyone could have!" Theta blurted out as he pounced.  
Heavily he landed on top of Koschei, who tried redressing the balance but failed, causing both of them to tumble out of bed.  
"You're the most insensitive, self-centred prick the universe has cast into existence!" Theta roared as he struck him, hit Koschei's head repeatedly against the floor and slapped him so hard his hands hurt, "You're driving me mad!"

"Well, insofar I seem to have succeeded," Koschei tried to chuckle before Theta smashed his head into the floorboards again.  
"And I hate your bloody wise crack joyful spirit when you're tantalizing me and dragging me down!" Theta growled, "Always carpeting me, always cutting me down to size!"

Koschei held his breath as Theta scratched his nails over his baring skin; he let himself get kicked in the chest, bore wordlessly Theta's attacks and blows.  
He waited silently until Theta regained his composure.  
Well, as much of his composure as he could regain right now.

"Say it," mumbled Theta.  
"What?" asked Koschei, staring at him innocently.  
"What you just thought," Theta said, "Say it. I want to hear it. Those exact words. Say it!"

"Theta, calm down," Koschei sighed while trying to sit up. Theta's fingers dug into the flesh above his ribcage as he pushed Koschei back onto the bed.  
"Say it," he repeated.

Koschei cocked an eyebrow at him.  
' _I'm sorry_?' Koschei thought so loud Theta could nearly hear it, 'Is this what you want me to say?'  
An almost frisky smile played over his lips.  
The fire inside Theta's eyes flared up.

"Eye for an eye," Theta growled, "violation for violation."

Having said that he reinforced his grip on Koschei's arms and pinned them down onto the floor with his hands. Then he squeezed his legs between Koschei's, forcing his thighs apart.  
Theta's shins pressed against Koschei's warm flesh, bruising it, leaving their marks all over his skin.  
And as Theta began thrusting his slightly swollen member against Koschei's groins Koschei felt Theta establishing their mental bond.  
But his thoughts didn't trickle into Koschei's skull, their synapses entwining like the finest threads; Theta's mind blazed a trail as it engulfed Koschei's mind, ingesting his thoughts and emotions, forcing its own impulses upon Koschei's scared-stiff brain cells.

Theta gained admission over their minds by force.  
Koschei was taken by surprise, never having seen his long-term friend in a state of mind like that one.  
And, shamefully, he had to admit that he experienced it to be more than thrilling...

Koschei stared into Theta's eyes after receiving a harsh slap. He ran his tongue over his lips, tasting blood.  
"Your tongue is not just a weapon, eh?" Theta mumbled while getting into a kneeling position above Koschei's face.  
Koschei, still slightly paralyzed by Theta's rampant thoughts raging in his skull, opened his mouth without giving it much thought as Theta thrust his pulsating member between his invitingly warm lips. Barely conscious Koschei managed to tighten his grip around Theta's eager dick, trying to keep it from clogging his air tube.

Theta grunted, his hips jerking and thrusting forward, his now rock-hard member deeply buried in Koschei's throat, probing the moist warmness, penetrating him rough, fast and fidgety.  
Small beads of sweat formed on his forehead as he picked up the pace again, his hearts pounding in his chest like mad. He dug his nails into Koschei's shoulder, drawing blood, trying to increase his grip on both reality and his friend's conquered body.

With a muffled moan he felt the pressure draining from his chest, the hateful numbness and shakiness getting sucked out of his body as he couldn't hold back any longer, having reached his climax faster than usually.

His body unclenching, he senselessly thrust forward once or twice before collapsing on top of Koschei, his weight resting on his hands as he slowly fell forward.  
Koschei coughed and managed to escape from under Theta's drained and twitching body. He rolled onto his side.  
Theta panted barely audible.  
Out of the corner of his eyes he watched Koschei swallowing involuntarily.

"Is this really what you wanted?" Koschei added eventually, breaking the silence between them, "Is this really what you _needed_?"

Koschei searched Theta's mind for the answer he'd been looking for all this time.  
The reason for his altered mood, for his violent attacks and why he'd been wallowing in self-pity.

Koschei's brows knitted as his mind probed around in Theta's limbic system.  
"A bad day?" Koschei asked disbelievingly as he appeared to have reached a conclusion.  
Theta met his gaze and stared at him indifferently.  
"You were having a bad day and feeling a bit gloomily?" Koschei repeated after heaving found the sought-after information in Theta's mind, "All this because of a bad day?"

He shifted awkwardly while trying to get back onto his feet again.  
Theta shrugged. Koschei noted the glimmer in his eye and thought better of the snappy remark he'd otherwise treated Theta to.

Koschei arose slowly, carefully placing a hand on Theta's shoulder.  
"Why don't we try something else to cheer you up?"

Theta rested his head on Koschei's shoulder as he watched the sunrise.  
Koschei's hand brushed over Theta's cheeks.  
"It's beautiful," Theta mumbled quietly before closing his eyes again.  
"Feeling like a young God?" Koschei asked. He rubbed his forehead against Theta's neck, "I knew you just needed a timeout. Just sit back and watch how a day flies by."  
Out of the corner of his eyes Theta could still see the TARDIS Koschei had parked on top of a skyscraper.

Legs dangling, he sighed while staring down at the constant hubbub beneath them.  
The busy streets deep below them.  
People. So many people underneath.  
And they'd never stop running.


End file.
